"For Fatso" Underwear and Other Unfortunate Translations...

I'm writing this to convey the elegance of the Chinese language... Living here gives me a a new appreciation for the challenges translating culture. There is such sweetness in Chinese -- when you meet an older woman, you call her "older sister". You say your verbs twice to soften the language (in the sentence, I would like to look at your store...the verb - look (kan) becomes kan kan.)

And just think of all the Chinese nonsense characters young people are having tattooed on to them in the US! I would never disparage these translations in a mean way.

But still -- For Fatso underwear? Patrice and I found this when shopping for John ... the poor guy lost his luggage -- and most of his clothes -- on a trip to Indonesia. For Fatso is how extra large is translated on the package. And instead of large, the box was marked XXXXXL (5 XL) and the shorts were still too tight!

Other phrases that make me smile:

Deformed man toilet -- Handicapped bathroom

Don't forget to carry your thing -- huh?

Your careful step keeps tiny grass invariably green -- keep off the grass

Wash after relief -- sign in bathroom. Enough said

Chinese Daughter

It's impossible to describe our world in China. Because of the language challenges, it is is opaque. There's so much to get done...but it's nearly impossible without Chinese language skills. Getting the computer hooked up. Finding a tailor. Understanding the grocery store.


So that's why I found Lily.


There's a terrific web site for expats in China called The Beijinger. All in English. In the classified ads, there are a lot of tour guides offering their services in Beijing -- but the photos of these girls looked like glamour shots with come hither looks. I wasn't sure what they were offering...


Then I saw Lily's ad. This cute little Chinese girl -- a certified tour guide -- with perfect English. And now my world has changed.


Lily is charming...26 years old and engaged to be married. She laughs a lot and like most Chinese people, works very hard. She's helped me communicate with Yan Shifu, Wang Ping, our new Ayi (maid), order water, find a laundry, get tailoring done, shop and translate.


When Lily's not working, she studies English vocabulary. The first day we met, she asked me to explain the difference between aggravate and deteriorate. And she wanted a better definition of exacerbate ...


While out one day, I helped Lily try Italian food for the first time -- and she loved it!


What did I do without her?


Yan Shifu loves Lily, too...he calls her my "4th daughter"!

Mrs. Drinks Beer and Eats Potato Chips

So what is the world of a driver in China like? We thought Yan Shifu was a quiet fellow -- but I now realize he was waiting for his true calling...teacher (Laushi). My lessons begin the minute I hop in the car!


Because Yan Shifu is so smart, he's able to translate my grunts and mumbles into an actual language. He translates for my friend Lily when I try to speak Mandarin! Yan Shifu and I have long conversations...only possible because he's filling in the gaps of my language....and has developed "Berlitz ears" (which also allow my Berlitz teachers to understand me...)


He understands more English than we know. After we dropped my friend Patrice at the airport, Yan Shifu asked me if she was talking to her husband on the phone. Then he said, "kiss, kiss... I love you! I love you!" in English! Just like she did say on the phone.


And how does Yan Shifu see me? He solemnly told Lily, "Mrs. drinks beer and eats potato chips." He helped me shop for a party. But after I thought about it, I realized he was right! I adore Chinese beer (Yanching!)...and potato chips.


He worries because I don't cook -- and asked me immediately if Patrice cooked for her family...he's afraid I'm an example of all US women.


Yan Shifu also gave me one of the greatest compliments I've ever received when he told Lily, "Mrs. is highly educated -- that's why she's learning Chinese so quickly." It simply took my breath away, I was so grateful...I still have so far to go.


Because John is working so hard, Yan Shifu and I spend a lot of time together. My Chinese language teacher!

A Friend from the US

My friend Patrice came from the US last week -- and plunged into the Chinese experience. It was wonderful to see it all again through her eyes!

We started out easy...brunch on Sunday -- with caviar and champagne. Patrice loved the homemade Chinese noodles -- as the chef made them like a rodeo lasso right before her eyes.

Patrice sat in on my Mandarin class on Monday morning...and by the end, was saying "Ni Hao" and "xie xie" like a native! We had our first meal at a Hot Pot restaurant...and I shared my love of Chinese beer.

We took a Chinese Cooking class...back at the Hutong where I went to "Hook and Cook". We started with a traditional Chinese tea ceremony. Went to the local Chinese farmers' market to buy the ingredients (they killed the fish right in front of us!) and cooked on a flaming wok.

Patrice helped me organize the apartment for an entire day -- bless her heart! We stayed in and watched the old movie, Lost Horizon...part of our "understanding the mystic of the orient" movie series.

Patrice met my friend Lily and we headed to the Great Wall at Badaling and had lunch at the swanky Commune restaurant. It was the final night of Spring Festival -- and once again, we watched thousands of fireworks burst around the city.

Lily is a Certified tour guide --she took us to the Temple of Heaven. It was lovely...but what really amazed us was the glimpse of Chinese culture.

Here's what people were doing in park:

• Tai Chi
• Singing revolutionary songs together
• Painting Chinese calligraphy in water
• Flying kites
• Exercise classes (with over 200 people!)
• Rhythmic gymnastics with colorful banners
• Ballroom dancing
• Playing cards

We also did a little shopping. When John got home, Patrice and I made supper from fresh ingredients at the farmers' market. Patrice is an incredible cook and grows most of her own produce and herbs. I learned more from her than class!

Patrice sees the world in a refreshing way...and was captivated looking out our front window watching the workers build a new subway terminal across the street. There is even temporary housing like on a mine site. She was amazed by how much they got done in a single day...and begged me to send photos of the progress!

Finally, we bundled Patrice back on the plane to Peoria.

If this week sounds fun, why not plan your trip to China? We'll sing a few songs at the Temple of Heaven... and Chinese beer is waiting...

Eliza Doolittle... My Fair Ning

Do you remember the movie, My Fair Lady? Professor Henry Higgins takes a low class woman from the streets of London and teaches her to speak elegantly.

While he ’s teaching her, she fantasizes about killing him “Just you wait, Henry Higgins…”) And then the joy of finally getting it -- “The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plains…!” (When I ordered a glass of wine by myself...or asked where to get tickets.... understood how much something cost...)

Right now, I am a Mandarin Eliza Doolittle…and my Berlitz professors and Yan Shifu are all standing in for Henry Higgins!

They don't want to marry me...but they're a little surprised that I'm working so hard! They don't understand that I worked all my life -- learning Mandarin is now standing in for going to a corporate office everyday. I even wear high heels and hose! My friend Patrice is here from the US and sat in on class. Her Ni Hau sounds pretty good!

In Chinese, the song would look more like, “Zhou, xie, yuey…” words I swear my midwestern mouth will never get right!

Finally Fireworks!

Chinese New Year is wonderful --and we moved into our apartment just in time! First, red is the color of luck -- and I love red! Second, everyone shoots off fireworks -- and it's a huge party!

It's hard to believe...but John and I saw over 100 fireworks displays from the windows overlooking the park -- and they've gone on all week. In Beijing, you don't need a special permit -- people simply light them in the streets. It's fabulous. I'm so happy!







We also went to the Temple Fair in Chaoyang Park across the street -- there's a thin veneer of weiguoren (foreigners) here in Beijing -- we were the only "big noses" (an endearing term also used for foreigners...) in the place. Yan Shifu taught me to say, Xin Nien Kuai Le (Happy Spring Festival) and I say it to everyone. As John says, I've become the trained monkey...the local folks are shocked when they hear you utter a single word of Mandarin!










Everything shuts down for Chinese New Year, even Starbucks. My wonderful Berlitz teachers still made it in -- we were the only ones in the place! And of course, Yan Shifu has been driving me around...and teaching me even more phrases!

Moving Day!

It's finally arrived...moving day! Our new apartment overlooks the largest urban park in Asia. John and I feel like we're in New York -- and looking at Central Park!

Yan Shifu helped...and brought his wife as well (Yan Tai Tai -- Tai Tai is the respectful name for wife in Chinese...don't you just love this language?). There was a big crew -- it got done in half a day. By then end, every mover was my Chinese teacher as well -- pointing to a box of books and saying, "shu..."











Yan Shifu organized lunch for the crew -- they all instantly disappeared with their boxes...and I found them on the back landing, squatting down and eating. They are much more flexible than us rigid Americans!
It's the beginning of Chinese New Year -- and part of the tradition is giving your driver a monetary gift in a red envelope. I found the perfect set -- until the girl at the front desk told me the Chinese characters were for a wedding....

Language is funny -- Yan Tai Tai would simply repeat things to me --as if by saying it often enough I would eventually understand...

Our new kitchen is red, red, red -- and I adore it! Everything is new -- a wonderful way to start.

My only challenge -- keys! I haven't locked a door (car or house...) in 30 years! But there may be some salvation...a single card makes the elevator come to our apartment...and if you don't have that card, you can't get off at our floor.

So an unlocked door wouldn't really be that unsafe.... stop by sometime!