Lily's first party -- lunch at Fast Monkey's home

What a difference Lily has made to our life here in China! Her sunny personality, her sense of humor...and willingness to help us at all hours of the day has created joy here in Beijing.

Lily is a special girl. Her parents went against the one child policy in China to have her -- her Chinese name is "welcome". When she was born, her father was fired from his job and had to pay a fine equivalent to two years salary. He also went to jail for three days and was interrogated.

Lily is getting married on the first day of the Olympics in August -- no big party...but a very lucky day to start a new life.

We were thrilled when she invited us (and Yan Shifu) to lunch at her fiance's apartment. He's basketball crazy...adores Michael Jordan -- so his English name is Michael. But we love his Chinese name -- translates as Fast Monkey!

The first thing I did was buy some flowers -- they're amazing here. I watched as the bouquet of lilies (of course...) got bigger and bigger! Soon it was bigger than Lily herself!

The apartment is in Beijing...but over an hour's drive from our house. It was small but modern -- Lily and her best friend cooked all day. Sadly, Fast Monkey was working and couldn't be with us. It's not unusual for Chinese people to work 6 even 7 days a week!

As Lily took our pictures at her table, she called it a "dear diary moment" -- sometimes I wonder where her quaint English phrases come from!

But what an honor to be invited into a Chinese home. She was so happy John could be there, too.

Lily's vocabulary this week: explain the difference between impede and inhibit. Could you do it?

Chinese people work hard...

Our apartment is connected to the front desk by an intercom. And when that baby springs to life, John and I feel a sense of dread. What now? What fresh language hell awaits us? Because the people at the front desk are charming...smile a lot...but speak very little English. Especially the night shift...

Sunday night at 10 p.m. we bolted from bed as our intercom burst forth -- a string of incomprehensible "xies" and "zhis" we've come to fondly associate with Mandarin. We ran down to the front desk (at least we can use body language...) and the little guy said in his halting English..."they're going to deliver your washer..." HUH?

We figured our laundry was going to be delivered. But NO! A washer did arrive...along with two hulking Chinese guys who thought we should understand what was wrong (they were looking for the receipt).

Many times people think simply repeating things will help us understand...

10 p.m. on Sunday night...hmmm. I told you Chinese folks work hard!

Today, when I got home from class, I saw two little people loading a washer and dryer on a bicycle -- you guessed it...ours!


I told you they work hard!

Standards of beauty

The first thing I noticed about China was the gorgeous women. Tall, slender, stylish and exotic. But it's amazing how beauty standards differ.














Pale skin is lovely...most skin products include bleaching agents and whiteners. Women carry parasols in summer to protect themselves from the sun. My friend Lily complimented Patrice and I on our "big noses"! Girls here get their noses enlarged!

They do know luxury! I went with a group of friends to a foot massage spa... It felt like a zen retreat. Suddenly, the door opened and 10 young Thai men marched in - precision step. Like a group of Asian Chippendales! I couldn't wait to see what happened next....

Even the massages were in unison -- almost choreographed. An hour long...the entire room was asleep in 20 minutes.

Last weekend, John and I had an adventure at the local hot springs spa. We can see it out our apartment window. It's very Chinese -- no one speaks a word of English.

John headed to the men's side -- I was shuffled to the women's. Unlike the delicate massages I've had in the US, this was a full frontal assault. It's a new definition of vulnerable when you have on no clothes and someone is jabbering at you. Not to mention being the only pasty weiguoren (foreigner) in a room of Asian beauties... On the men's side, they helped John back into his clothes...even his underwear! We quickly fled and laughed about it the rest of the day.

Bumbling through Beijing....

Those of you who have been reading our blog since the beginning may recall that we began by "Bursting into Beijing". We're now to stage two...bumbling through. My brain often feels like a bowl of yesterday's congee (rice porridge).

It ain't easy.

• Trying to order water and getting four bottles instead of one.
  
• Having the cash card in the US shut off because of a purchase in China...leaving us stranded.





• Tipping -- when it's not the custom -- and making people uncomfortable. Or even worse, fear for their job!
• Telling Yan Shifu to come at 10 a.m. and having him think you need him at 4 p.m.


• Finding a laundry that will pick up and deliver...only to discover that not only is it expensive (think hotel laundry prices...) but they staple a tag onto every item -- even underwear! Poor fatso!
  
• Gong to a restaurant -- only to have the one person who speaks English come over and tell you that you've ordered enough food to feed 15 people!

Sigh... it just ain't easy.

But here's the bright spot -- you feel tremendous accomplishment when you do get something right! When the water comes as ordered...someone actually understands your Mandarin. When a girl in the store brings your cart to you because she's concerned about your purse being stolen....

Because the brightest spot is the Chinese people -- smart, friendly, willing to help -- and so hard working.

I'm at stage two in my Mandarin lessons...my brain has absorbed about as much as it can. Every morning I get up -- I put on my work clothes and ride with John to work. But I don't get out of the car. Instead, Yan Shifu and I head to school.

The minute John is out of the car, Yan Shifu starts to drill me -- helping me with my tones!

My new system is flash cards for phrases and vocabulary...all in lovely Chinese books. But it's amazing how they've multiplied!

The adventure that is China!

"For Fatso" Underwear and Other Unfortunate Translations...

I'm writing this to convey the elegance of the Chinese language... Living here gives me a a new appreciation for the challenges translating culture. There is such sweetness in Chinese -- when you meet an older woman, you call her "older sister". You say your verbs twice to soften the language (in the sentence, I would like to look at your store...the verb - look (kan) becomes kan kan.)

And just think of all the Chinese nonsense characters young people are having tattooed on to them in the US! I would never disparage these translations in a mean way.

But still -- For Fatso underwear? Patrice and I found this when shopping for John ... the poor guy lost his luggage -- and most of his clothes -- on a trip to Indonesia. For Fatso is how extra large is translated on the package. And instead of large, the box was marked XXXXXL (5 XL) and the shorts were still too tight!

Other phrases that make me smile:

Deformed man toilet -- Handicapped bathroom

Don't forget to carry your thing -- huh?

Your careful step keeps tiny grass invariably green -- keep off the grass

Wash after relief -- sign in bathroom. Enough said

Chinese Daughter

It's impossible to describe our world in China. Because of the language challenges, it is is opaque. There's so much to get done...but it's nearly impossible without Chinese language skills. Getting the computer hooked up. Finding a tailor. Understanding the grocery store.


So that's why I found Lily.


There's a terrific web site for expats in China called The Beijinger. All in English. In the classified ads, there are a lot of tour guides offering their services in Beijing -- but the photos of these girls looked like glamour shots with come hither looks. I wasn't sure what they were offering...


Then I saw Lily's ad. This cute little Chinese girl -- a certified tour guide -- with perfect English. And now my world has changed.


Lily is charming...26 years old and engaged to be married. She laughs a lot and like most Chinese people, works very hard. She's helped me communicate with Yan Shifu, Wang Ping, our new Ayi (maid), order water, find a laundry, get tailoring done, shop and translate.


When Lily's not working, she studies English vocabulary. The first day we met, she asked me to explain the difference between aggravate and deteriorate. And she wanted a better definition of exacerbate ...


While out one day, I helped Lily try Italian food for the first time -- and she loved it!


What did I do without her?


Yan Shifu loves Lily, too...he calls her my "4th daughter"!

Mrs. Drinks Beer and Eats Potato Chips

So what is the world of a driver in China like? We thought Yan Shifu was a quiet fellow -- but I now realize he was waiting for his true calling...teacher (Laushi). My lessons begin the minute I hop in the car!


Because Yan Shifu is so smart, he's able to translate my grunts and mumbles into an actual language. He translates for my friend Lily when I try to speak Mandarin! Yan Shifu and I have long conversations...only possible because he's filling in the gaps of my language....and has developed "Berlitz ears" (which also allow my Berlitz teachers to understand me...)


He understands more English than we know. After we dropped my friend Patrice at the airport, Yan Shifu asked me if she was talking to her husband on the phone. Then he said, "kiss, kiss... I love you! I love you!" in English! Just like she did say on the phone.


And how does Yan Shifu see me? He solemnly told Lily, "Mrs. drinks beer and eats potato chips." He helped me shop for a party. But after I thought about it, I realized he was right! I adore Chinese beer (Yanching!)...and potato chips.


He worries because I don't cook -- and asked me immediately if Patrice cooked for her family...he's afraid I'm an example of all US women.


Yan Shifu also gave me one of the greatest compliments I've ever received when he told Lily, "Mrs. is highly educated -- that's why she's learning Chinese so quickly." It simply took my breath away, I was so grateful...I still have so far to go.


Because John is working so hard, Yan Shifu and I spend a lot of time together. My Chinese language teacher!